Why do some men want to see their wives have sex with other men?

There are dozens of studies on the subject and several books written exploring the psychology of it, but I personally don’t think there is one single reason that covers everyone who shares the way you’re feeling.

One take on it is what I call the ‘personal pornstar’ idea. People like porn, right? We like to see others having sex. We usually like to see attractive people have sex. An attractive person relates to someone you like, and quite often, who do you find attractive and like more than anyone else in the world? Your wife. So, in this particular theory, you enjoy seeing your wife have sex because it’s porn - tailored to exactly your tastes and likes.

There are other more biological and evolutionary factors that some sexual psychologists insist are the reason behind cuckolding being enjoyable for some men. We have built into us a need to procreate and to send forward our DNA by copulating and creating offspring. But what if we think our own DNA isn’t as strong as others? What if some deep subconscious part of our brain feels inferior to other men - doesn’t it therefore make sense that it might trigger a response to instead create a desire for you to get your wife impregnated by a superior male - and then for you to raise that in-turn ‘superior’ offspring?

Another primal-themed possibility is that in the wild, back in our prehistory, our ancient ancestors did something that we can observe animals doing to this day. Certain species of animal, big cats to name but one, will sometimes deliberately mate with a female right after they have seen her being mated with someone else. By mating with them quickly, their penis will ‘scrape’ out some of the previous male’s sperm and instead replace it with their own. I’ve read an article which suggested that the raised ridge on the end of the human penis is designed to do just that - to scrape out the last man’s semen before replacing it with our own, also hence the repeated plunging of the penis into the vagina.
Finally, of course, there’s the obvious reason - that some are just more drawn to the ‘taboo’ - the rebellious side of our nature which simply wants to overthrow and defy the societal norms imposed on us by religion and cultural morals. What could be more ‘taboo’ (while remaining legal) than letting your wife have sex with other men and observing this ‘cruel’ humiliation for your own pleasure?

Either way, as I see it, if you, your wife and your ‘thirds’ all enjoy it - no one is getting hurt or abused - then what is the harm in exploring your fantasy. We only live once and you never know what is around the corner these days (coronavirus has only served to make this even more real to us all) so while that is a hedonistic and epicurean philosophy, if it’s what you want to do, then no one else has a right to tell you it’s wrong.

Don’t overthink things, be sensible, take the right precautions, communicate properly and often - and enjoy it!